Two travelers stop over in a small village named Santana. Unbeknownst to them, Santana is a village where, once a year, Satan comes to Earth to claim souls, and they just happened to enter the village on that day.
When the magic powers of The Tablet of Ahkmenrah begin to die out, Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) spans the globe, uniting favorite and new characters while embarking on an epic quest to save the magic before it is gone forever.
An ex-Marine haunted by a tragic past, Tommy Riordan (Tom Hardy) returns to his hometown of Pittsburgh and enlists his father (Nick Nolte), a recovering alcoholic and his former coach, to train him for an MMA tournament awarding the biggest purse in the history of the sport.
Ex-Federale agent Machete is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.
Jesus (Willem Dafoe), a humble Judean carpenter beginning to see that he is the son of God, is drawn into revolutionary action against the Roman occupiers by Judas (Harvey Keitel) -- despite his protestations that love, not violence, is the path to salvation.
Nada, a down-on-his-luck construction worker, discovers a pair of special sunglasses. Wearing them, he is able to see the world as it really is: people being bombarded by media and government with messages like "Stay Asleep", "No Imagination", "Submit to Authority".
NYPD cop John McClane's plan to reconcile with his estranged wife, Holly, is thrown for a serious loop when minutes after he arrives at her office, the entire building is overtaken by a group of pitiless terrorists.