Canaan, a mysterious gunfighter left nearly blind from Civil War combat, roams through Mexico with a baby he has sworn to protect. On his way to a town where a family will supposedly adopt the baby, Canaan passes through a border town where U.S. Cavalry officers assigned to deliver a shipment of silver are under attack from bandits. With some reluctance, Canaan steps in to help the soldiers.
The Lone Rangers have heavy-metal dreams and a single demo tape they can't get anyone to play. The solution: Hijack an AM rock station and hold the deejays hostage until they agree to broadcast the band's tape.
Lloyd and Harry are two men whose stupidity is really indescribable. When Mary, a beautiful woman, loses an important suitcase with money before she leaves for Aspen, the two friends (who have found the suitcase) decide to return it to her.