Jason Avery is an ex-cop now working as a museum security guard. Armed thieves break in intent on stealing a priceless obelisk that looks like a glowing crystal dinosaur egg that's stored within this vault-like stone structure that looks like someone merged a Tardis with the Stargate. The scientist/anthropologist/whatever behind the theft talks of the obelisk giving him the power to control harpies, demonic winged female monsters of classic mythology. Through a series of contrived events, the obelisk opens a time portal that Jason promptly falls into, crash landing over a thousand years in the past in a land threatened by evil harpies.
Returning for his fifth year of study at the venerable Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the ever-maturing Harry Potter is stunned to find that his warnings about the return of Lord Voldemort have been ignored.
High school best buddies are facing separation anxiety as they prepare to go off to college. While attempting to score alcohol for a party with help from their fake ID-toting friend, "McLovin", the guys' evening takes a turn into chaotic territory.
For Rod Kimball, performing stunts is a way of life, even though he is rather accident-prone. Poor Rod cannot even get any respect from his stepfather, Frank, who beats him up in weekly sparring matches.