Finding herself in dire circumstances, the widowed Sylvia Darling determines that her son, Stephen, will complete his college education and develop his supposed literary talents; thus, she accepts a contract as singer in a Broadway nightclub, billed as "Dearie," and becomes an immediate sensation.
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Ezra Hickman, of Kankakee, is a political aspirant. At a reception in Washington with his wife and daughter Amy he meets the Ambassador of Selim Bey, the ruler of a small European kingdom, Vergania.
Marion Clark, a manicurist, is unimpressed by the wealthy but dissipated men who frequent her shop, preferring city editor Dick Strong, who lives in her boardinghouse.
The daughter of a count and the son of a shoemaker, both Hungarian, fall in love in America. As they're about to marry, the young woman is called back to Europe.
On a train bound for New York, where she hopes to find work, Honey McNeil captures the appreciative eye of William Ogden, a financier, who offers her a job.
Douglas MacLean stars as The Young Thief, who falls in love with The Girl, played by Sue Carol. Alas, the Girl has been sold into the harem of The Wazir (Albert Prisco), forcing the Thief to sneak into the palace to rescue her.
Lane plays two roles: Grand Duke Algy Horseradish De Ketchup of Worcestershire and Newsboy White. The newsboy is hired by Elmer Éclair (played by Lane's younger brother, Walter Lupino) to impersonate the Duke for unstated reasons, and to attend a house party at the Smalls (a last name that leads to several puns) in the Duke's stead.
The film was created as a compilation of footage that was, in some cases, nearly fifteen years old, and included stock footage such as medical reels containing footage of venereal diseases and films depicting white slavery.