Reservist Tommy Smart - who has made his fortune since the war selling army surplus - arrives at an army camp, with his chauffeur/valet, for two weeks' training. Bank manager Corporal Jones is in Tommy's squad. Sylvia, Jones' daughter, wishes to marry Lieutenant Robson, a National Service officer. Smart is under the orders of his old enemy Sergeant Thickpenny and R.S.M. Brittain; various parade ground antics ensue.
Danny O'Neill and Hank Taylor are rival trumpeters with the Perennials, a college band, and both men are still attending college by failing their exams seven years in a row.
A four-time widow discusses her four marriages, in which all of her husbands became incredibly rich and died prematurely because of their drive to be rich.
Happily married for three years, Ann and David Smith live in New York. One morning Ann asks David if he had to do it over again, would he marry her? To her shock, he answers, "No".
When scientists use eco-terrorism to impose their will on the world by affecting extremes in the weather, Intelligence Chief Cramden calls in top agent Derek Flint.
Ollie falls in love with a woman. When he discovers she's already married, he unsuccessfully attempts suicide but he and Stan then decide to join the Foreign Legion to get away from their troubles.
Charlie plays an actor who bungles several scenes and is kicked out. He returns convincingly dressed as a lady and charms the director, but Charlie never makes it into the film.
A member of the Bunco squad introduces the Case of the Gullible Woodpecker. It seems that Woody wins a pot full of dough that con man Buzz Buzzard notices and sets his sights on stealing.
Somewhere in the Salzburg mountains, young poacher Hans tries to conquer the heart of pretty schoolteacher Helga but is overthrown by forest warden Thomas.
While her new husband is away looking for work, the wife loses the child she was expecting and uses another woman's baby as a substitute so she won't have to upset her spouse when he returns.
